


my moments want you (but you don't)

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Sad Ending, can be either canon or in alternate universe because its vague, i dont even know what i wrote..., unbetaed, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They were inseparable. Past tense.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	my moments want you (but you don't)

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this out of impulse while listening to NCT 127's No Longer. This is an unbeta'ed work, sorry for any grammatical errors. Hit me up at @HITKSY on twt.

Soonyoung and Wonwoo were inseparable. They had been best friends since they were in middle school, struggling with puberty and growing pains. They had shared happiness and struggle together, through all hardships and joy.

Notice the past tense?

Yes, because they were inseparable back then.

At fifteen, Soonyoung blurted out three words Wonwoo never expected he would hear from his best friend. Wonwoo was sure he was straight as stick, and the words coming from Soonyoung's mouth terrified him. No, he was not scared of what Soonyoung said. He was scared of what he might be. Something that he should had never been.

He ran away. Far far away. Too far.

At fifteen, Soonyoung's heart was broken for the first time. He was struggling with his own feelings. He was scared of his own self. He was too afraid to admit the truth, because it would ruin everything.

And, it did. The day he mustered up his courage to tell the truth out loud, for him and the other boy to hear, was also the day he lost everything. He lost his friendship. He lost his first love. He lost his own self. It felt like his world crumbled down. He could not do anything without thinking of Wonwoo. He could not listen to his favorite song or go to his favorite diner because they used to do everything together, just the two of them. His memories of Wonwoo haunted him everyday.

Everything changed, the only thing that was constant was the fear, pain and sadness. He decided to silence his own self.

Slowly, as time passed, the scar in his heart began to heal. He began to embrace himself again. It was a slow process, but he sure started to accept himself. He decided to be kinder to his own self and stopped pretending to be something he was not. He began to gain courage. The boy realized he was worthy of love. He deserved to be loved. Firstly, he loved himself.

A lucky boy came to him like a spring breeze, carefully approaching Soonyoung. Soonyoung was scared. However, as long as he had someone that could love him dearly no matter what, he knew he would be fine. As long he had himself. As long he loved his own self.

At nineteen, Soonyoung decided it was time for him to leave it all in the past. He embraced the boy in front of him, full of warmth, affection and love for him. Soonyoung loved him back.

At nineteen, the runaway boy began to understand his own self. He slowly embraced the inseparable part of him that he used to hate and bury, the part of him that he used to hide. It was hard, but he tried to make peace with his dark past. It hurt to revisit painful memories, but he had to.

So, the runaway boy ran as fast as he could. He came back and said the three words.

"I no longer need you. I am happy now."

Wonwoo knew he was too late. He knew he would not be welcomed. However, he had not expected it would hurt this much.

"You fucked me up, Wonwoo."

"I'm sorry."

"Please go away. I'm begging."

Nothing could hurt Wonwoo more than Soonyoung standing in front of him trying to hold his tears, begging him to leave, when Wonwoo knew he caused it. 

"I swear I would be better to you, Soonyoung."

"Wonwoo, is it that easy for you to walk in and out of my life like that? Don't you know how difficult that was for me?"

Silence.

"We were stupid. Everything was wrong. Please do not blame yourself too much. Forgive yourself, Wonwoo."

"Do you forgive me?"

"I forgive you. But, I want my happiness now, and you aren't in there."

Wonwoo nodded. He saw Soonyoung's back familiar back was turned on him, walking away from him to someone else's embrace. They were smiling at each other happily. Wonwoo knew he had to let go. For Soonyoung's happiness, even though it costed his own. Maybe in another life, instead of that guy, it'd be Wonwoo. Maybe in another life, they'd be in love in the right time and right moment. With a heavy heart, Wonwoo left.


End file.
